A person with “zero online presence” tends to be inevitably more mysterious, which may (or may not) contribute to the desire to get to know them better. But the advantages don’t stop there.
Surfing someone’s social networks has become, for many, an indispensable ritual before any date. Whether to find friends in common, discover potential interests or even to understand if, in fact, the person in question is (or not) emotionally available. Since, nowadays, a large slice of social network users tend to expose their day to day, in a relaxed, carefree and, above all, inconsequential way, in the digital universe.
But it is not always possible and not all of us are an open book, digitally speaking. There are times, even though they are rare, when nothing can be found. There’s no Facebook with photos of dinners, no Instagram with constant stories or even Twitter full of opinions.
Nothing. There is absolutely nothing. Sometimes, mystery sets in and, with it, the desire to explore and get to know also intensifies. But, after all, what makes being offline so attractive?
Dating expert James Prece explains that people are often drawn to mystery in general, especially when it comes to love relationships – and that extends to social media. “If you can’t be stalking someone and find out what’s going on, then you’re going to be intrigued,” he says in an interview with VICE magazine. “Any kind of mystery or unavailability is immediately an attractive quality.”
“Without social media, or by having a private account, you can get someone’s curiosity to get to know you better in the real world,” adds Hayley Quinn, dating expert.
We’re not looking for information, we’re looking for defects. Still in this sense, it is important to reflect on the real reason why we are browsing through someone’s profiles and social networks. Do we want to find information or just characteristics that can be judged?
“A lot of times people look for reasons not to date (or date) someone,” Prece explains. “When you can’t do that, all you can do is give them a chance. Without being forced to reject them.” If it seems superficial to judge someone based on their online presence, it’s because it probably is. And, in practical terms, it does little or no good. Since the number of followers, quality of selfies, or even talent for TikTok will do nothing to affect the actual chemistry when you’re together in the flesh.
“The least you need to make progress with any kind of romantic experience is someone who is willing to invest their time in you,” Quinn says.
In other words, in the same way that someone might attract you by their Instagram photos, the mystery inherent in the lack of them can have exactly the same effect on you. However, what attracts you in the first instance tends to be irrelevant when it comes to long-term compatibility.
So yes, deleting social media can make you more mysterious and therefore more attractive, but it’s not a relevant factor once you get past the digital barrier. Likes and followers aside, in real life, chemistry prevails.